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By: Pastor Berg

We may have the best intentions to share our faith, but often we struggle with getting a spiritual conversation started. To make our witnessing efforts more of a natural progression in our conversations with people, we need to hone the skills of listening and asking questions.

Listen Patiently and Intently

Turning conversations from everyday life to matters of eternal life requires the skill of listening. A college student placed this ad in a local newspaper: “I’ll listen. You do ALL the talking and I’ll do ALL the listening. Your cost is $25 per ½ hour.” To his surprise, he had dozens of responses. People have a need to talk about their lives and to discuss their concerns. Listening is an excellent way to demonstrate that you care about people and are interested in them. Taking the time to listen to people strengthens the connections that you have with them. Those “bridges” will help you cross over from small talk to talking about God.

Telling about Jesus comes after listening to people talk about their feelings and fears, their problems and opinions. Draw people out as they speak about things that concern them. Say something like, “That’s interesting. What makes you say that?” With this question, you clarify issues and learn more about people. By patiently and intently listening, you foster respect and trust, so that people are more inclined to listen to you when you turn the conversation to spiritual matters.

Ask Life-related Questions

Asking people questions about their lives will help you make meaningful  applications of God’s Word. Friends with whom you have a close relationship won’t feel threatened or uncomfortable about answering serious questions about life. That’s why the relationships that we have with people are important for witnessing. People you know will have an easier time talking about the deeper issues of life because they know that you care and that they can confide in you.

The close relationships that we enjoy with people make it easier for us to raise questions that can lead to     sharing our faith.

Bringing up questions about religious background or experience will lead to opportunities for sharing what you believe. Explore matters of life that have significant impact on the people you know, such as job changes, marriage or family issues, health concerns, etc. As you relate to some of these matters, you can share how your faith is important to you. Talk about accomplishments and successes, or disappointments and letdowns. Then apply the promises and direction of God’s Word.

Approaches for Turning Conversations

A simple approach for turning conversations to spiritual talk is to remember the words “Feel… Felt… Found.” After listening carefully to your friend’s concern, respond by saying, “I can see how you might feel that way… Others have felt the same way, I know… (or: ‘I once felt that way myself.’) But what I’ve found is …” Then talk about the truth of God’s Word and apply it to your friend.

When people speak with you about their problems, you may use this approach to lead the conversation to God’s Word. Think of these four letters: p, P, S, s. Our problems (p) are rooted in our main Problem (P) which is sin. In his love, God sent Jesus who is the Solution (S) for our sin. Since God saved us from sin through Jesus, we can be confident in his promises to help us with solutions (s) to the problems we have in life.

Handling Challenges

Often we are unnerved about witnessing because we fear that people might challenge something about Christianity and question us. We are afraid that we won’t know the answers. The Bible teaches us that people who do not believe in Jesus cannot understand spiritual truth. The apostle Paul wrote, “The message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing” (1 Corinthians 1:18). So they will object to the truth of God; that’s their nature. Sometimes Christians will even challenge the things we speak because they have been misguided in their learning of the Scriptures or in the past have been offended in some way.

Do not argue. Your goal is not to win an argument. Your goal is to plant the seed of God’s Word which the Holy Spirit uses to win people for Christ. Arguing or debating with people will not get them into heaven. Only the gospel has the power to save people, as the apostle Paul went on to say in that 1 Corinthians passage, “But to us who are being saved it [the message of the cross] is the power of God.” We will listen to people’s objections and acknowledge them as genuine concerns that people have on their minds. This doesn’t mean that we agree with them, but we seek to keep the lines of communication open. Understanding their concerns, we will turn the conversation to what God tells us in his Word, which is not arguable. It is the only power that can persuade the minds and hearts of people to see Jesus as their Savior and follow him as their Lord.

We want to connect people with God’s Word as much as we can. Therefore, the inability to answer objections or questions on the spot is not necessarily bad because we can return later and talk about Jesus. Respond by saying something like this: “That’s an interesting thought. I need to think more about it and study God’s Word for help.” Then delve into the Scriptures for answers. Ask other Christians for their thoughts. Talk to your pastor for guidance. Finally, go back and explain what you have found – always emphasizing the main thing that Jesus is our Savior.